hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:04:50 GMT 1
at my age I don't expect to be able to burn the candle at both ends, but getting it to light in the first place would be nice ;o)
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:06:22 GMT 1
A married woman's sex life is very much like the lottery. Its the same old balls, very little chance of 69 & it usually ends with a roll over
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:09:52 GMT 1
That was a close one! In the kitchen this morning I found my Girlfriend face down & not breathing. I panicked, my heart raced and I didn't know what to do!
Then I remembered McDonald's do breakfast till 1030
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:11:13 GMT 1
You think 7 years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:11:48 GMT 1
My Girlfriend answers her phone, and a pervert breathes "have you got a tight, hairy thingy?".
she replies "yes, he's on the sofa, did you want to speak to him?
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:12:47 GMT 1
Ladies, you have to understand that to us men sex is just like a game of hide and seek.
Usually because after about a minute we're shouting "I'm coming ready or not!"
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:13:57 GMT 1
Man from Barnsley with a sore backside, asks the Chemist. `Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?
Chemist replies, Aye, Magnum or Cornetto!
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:16:07 GMT 1
Paddy goes on a First Aid course, the instructor asks, "What would you do if your child swallowed the front door key?"
Paddy said, "Climb through the window!!"
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:17:43 GMT 1
Why did God invent orgasms for women?
So they can still have a f***ing moan even when they're enjoying themselves!
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hairyuk
All Weather Rider, well hard
Posts: 155
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Post by hairyuk on Jun 29, 2012 21:21:02 GMT 1
During sex you burn as many calories as running for 5 miles. Who the f**k runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?
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