England Football Team

[The General]

The Football Association today proudly unveiled Total, fcuk and UPS as the new sponsors of the England football team. ‘The combination of these three corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side,’ said an FA spokesman. ‘After all, they had nothing in the tank when it counted, and they’ve proved themselves to be a bunch of expensive posers who always fail to deliver.’

The announcement followed the news that Nationwide building society would be ending its sponsorship of the national side after the FA rejected its pre-World Cup offer of a new £20m deal. ‘Not so f**k**g cocky now, are you?’ said Nationwide in a prepared statement yesterday, before respectfully suggesting that the FA ‘shoved its sponsorship deal right up its arse’. Pundits noted that if the FA followed Nationwide’s advice, it would be the second time in a fortnight that England had been laid wide open at the back.

The new shirts come in a range of bright ‘easy to spot’ colours after claims from England players that the old kit was painted in ‘magic invisible ink’ which made it impossible to pick out an easy and obvious pass to a team mate. The new shirts are also made of a super lightweight material, unlike the old tops which were apparently made of extra-heavy chain mail which left the Premiership stars lumbering around looking exhausted and unfit.

However, one criticism has been made of the design of the new England kit with claims that the neck hole was inexplicably too small for the heads of the Premiership stars. Players say this will it make it very hard to pull the shirt off during an over-exuberant goal celebration, but a spokesman for the manufacturers said ’we don’t envisage this being a problem.’

[The General]

I'm not a football fan and we've been away throughout all of the world cup. Sounds like we didn't miss much from the england Team sad to say.

Commiserations to Buzzin, GvS and other Dutch members for their National team having the cup snatched from their hands - well done for getting through to the finals though

[rj2para (Bisto)]

Not a fan either. Have to say if they worked for me I would sack the lot.

And send out the local pub team.

We would still be thrashed but at least they would not say they were bored and may even play with some passion!

[De Graaf van Salland]

I love the T-shirt !
Can you buy it somewhere ?

I'm not a football fan either. I did watch the final & semi-final. And, of course (as a Dutchman) I'm disappointed that we didn't win the final.

But I'm glad that this whole football world championship is now over and we can get back to normal business.

GvS

[Jaz66]

Miserable lot of barstewards.................. ;D

look at the joy the win has brought to Spaniards across the world.

I loved it and miss it......
(roll on the premiership and then the Euro's.. ;D )

well done to the dutch for getting to the final...but naughty naughty for the final itself .....although Spielberg is planning on using the Dutch team as extras in the remake of the bruce lee classic..
"Feet of Fury" ...................

Love the new sponsors.....hahaha...

[buckiemick]

oxo are reported to be considering launching a post world cup cube, packaged in white foil with a red cross, to be named....the laughing stock !

[Buzzin (^_^)]

I love the shirt too......perhaps someone should actually start making them

No football fan either, but like GvS I watched the (semi) final..... I get the feeling some players weren't entirely sure what game they were playing....rugby, karate, judo...all possible, because it certainly didn't look like football to me

[Jaz66]

good news...heskies retired from international football... ;D

lets hope fabio doesn't try and talk him out of it before the Euro's