Need some advice!

[andywales]

My wife is giving me all the indications that she is having a AFFAIR!!

The normal things are happening, lots of nights out with the girls, arriveing home in the early hours of the morning, home late from work etc etc.

I,ve tried staying awake to see who drops her off, but I always fall asleep before she gets home, so I never get to see.

So I hatched a cunning plan.

I hid myself behind my bike in the drive, I waited about an hour, then she came home, dropped off by a fella I never seen before, as she got out of his car she was buttoning up her blouse, she then pulled her knickers out of her handbag , and put them on before she reached the front door.

At that point, I noticed a hairline crack in the rear engine mounting on the NTV, and need some advice, do I weld it or replace the part. ;D

[McF]

Apr 21, 2010 15:08:15 GMT 1 andywales said:

need some advice, do I weld it or replace the part. ;D

I think you could try a weld first but if that doesn't cure the problem, ask your wife to start charging for her services and buy you a new Ducati

[hairyuk]

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to thebird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'

The ownercomes over and asks if he can help them.

'Yeah, we'lltake four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.

The owner putsthe budgies in a cardboard box.

Paddy andGerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive tothe top of the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grandplace..'

He takes twobirds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watchesas the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killinghimself stone dead.


Looking downat the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fookdat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'

THERE'S MORE.....

Moment'slater; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.

He's been tothe pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying anothercardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other..

'Hi, Paddy,watch dis,' Seamus says.

He takes aparrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throwshimself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watchesas half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamuscontinues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks everybone in his body.

Paddy shakeshis head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'


IT IS NOT OVERYET....


Paddy is justgetting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.




He's also beento the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.




Sean thentakes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappearsdown and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once morePaddy shakes his head.




'Fook dat,lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting.... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'