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Post by McF on Apr 8, 2009 21:25:12 GMT 1
There's often nothing stranger than the truth, so here is an opportunity to share some crazy observations on the world, starting with Job Titles www.express.co.uk/posts/view/93949/Hasn-t-the-mortar-logistics-engineer-laid-that-path-yet-So in that vein, I have a weekend to spend busily as: Landscape enhancement operative - cutting the lawn Transport improvement engineer - washing the car Alcoholic beverage disposal facilitator - chillin with a few beers Before I get serious and become a missile guidance commander when I get the Pan out and have my first commute of the year ;D
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Post by rj2para (Bisto) on Apr 8, 2009 22:06:39 GMT 1
look out for missile interceptors - police
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Post by McF on Apr 8, 2009 23:29:01 GMT 1
look out for missile interceptors - police Ah you mean the Patrolling and Intelligence Gathering Service aka PIGS ;D or are they Felons Intimidated Law and Truth Healers aka FILTH
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Post by Buzzin (^_^) on Apr 9, 2009 9:23:47 GMT 1
hehe.....well, to be honest, sometimes it doesn't hurt.... My job description a few years back would have been: "that guy that does something fiddly with computers" so "Systems and Network Administrator" sounds a lot better It could also have been "Operational Support Artist and Workforce stupidity catcher"
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Post by Jaz66 on May 13, 2009 0:52:46 GMT 1
Buzzin writes... ;D ;D ;D stupidity must be cheap ...cos there is just SO much of it about..hehehe On a more topical note... M.P....."Maybe Prosecuted" OR "Me, Pay... ..." and lowering the tone even more (IF that was possible after the shower of thieving, sanctimonious, trough swilling swine we have for MP's... ) A Joke. Paddy was working for the council in the sewers and after a month is called in by the boss for a chat. "Paddy, i'm afraid that the young ladies in my office have complained about your time sheets" "Although they are all in order there appears to be an embarrassing word in your job description, that causes my ladies a problem" "But " say's Paddy, "thats the job i do, Mr Smith, Sir, beggorah and Bejasus" "That maybe so, paddy but perhaps you could describe it slightly differently for my ladies to input on the system?" "well i could do that, bejasus and Begorrah, but what could i say instead?" "Well, you could say that you were an Excretor Exavator, perhaps?" "Well, Mr Smith sir, IF i could spell Excretor Excavator, I wouldn't be shovelling Sh!T for a living, would I...!!" Ride safe jaz
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Post by McF on May 13, 2009 6:59:59 GMT 1
"Well, Mr Smith sir, IF i could spell Excretor Excavator, I wouldn't be shovelling Sh!T for a living, would I...!!" jaz Brilliant ;D
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Post by McF on May 13, 2009 22:08:23 GMT 1
These were sent to me as allegedly true complaints to a Travel Company by disgruntled holidaymakers:
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned." "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels." A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate". A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room. "The beach was too sandy." "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white." A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women." "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake." "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled." "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home." "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller." "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?" "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners." "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning." "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel." "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite." "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
These people are the ones who drive their cages erratically and keep your heart rate high when you're riding your bike!
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